Q: Can I tell if a guy is gay or not? I am 18 and it is impossible for me to find guys my own age. I have strong feelings towards some guys, but some of them I really think are gay and some I just wish were.?How can I know for sure? And how should I go about it?
A: An easy out is to cruise in locations where the community is predominately gay (gay bars, gay community social events, gay chat rooms, etc.). However, in most social settings, there is no quick & easy way to determine who is gay and who is not. Some of us have 'gay-dar', but no matter how perceptive you are, there is no stereotypical prototype for the gay male (despite what homophobes may tell you.
The real question at hand is how to determine who is attracted to you. The best approach is to be friendly. Most people smile back if you smile at them, and if they don't, they're usually not worth your time. You can find a topic of common interest and build a conversation with it. If you ask him casual social and non-sexual questions, you may find clues to his sexuality. After you've warmed up to each other and feel that the conversation is flowing naturally you can give a suggestive clue and see how he responds. If, for example, you are discussing movies, you can say, "Vin Deisel (or insert your fav actor) was hot in that movie. If he responds as if he's uncomfortable, you can discuss another aspect of the film. If his eyes light up, you have something to work with. I would suggest avoiding directly sexual questions on your first encounter. Even if he is gay, too strong of a come on can be a turn off. Unless of course, we are talking about a very sexual setting. For example, if it's 4:00 AM at the gay bar after the hot body contest, then by all means you can be more aggressive.
Body language also speaks volumes. One indication of interest is how comfortable he is getting close to you while talking. For example, if he leans in towards you as he talks or casually rests his hand on your leg while talking, he's probably flirting. A lot be can be said for eye contact, as well. If he pulls the classic glance at the crotch with a lingering smile as the eyes move up the body, then he's definitely giving you signals. Most importantly, keep yourself open to meeting new people and getting involved in gay-friendly activities.
from expert of http://www.interracialgaykiss.com
Friday, July 25, 2008
InterracialGayKiss.com - Where Gay Men Can Read & Get Dating Tips, Meet Gay Lover, Friends and Partner!
InterracialGayKiss website exists because most of us weren't taught when we were younger how to date, flirt, or socialize as gay men.
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Interracial Gay Dating on InterracialGayKiss.com
Do we segregate ourselves out of comfort, distaste or are our needs not being met in the most diverse ways possible in as many instances as possible? There are already separate Prides for African-American and Caucasian men. Some bars and hang out spots differentiate themselves by the music, others by the crowd, yet others by the race of their clientele. America is no stranger to taboo nature of interracial relationships. After all, interracial marriages were prohibited under the anti-miscegenation law until 1967. And the United States is not alone: South Africa, Canada and Australia are among the countries that previously banned interracial marriage.
Is there still a cry of exogamy 40 years later? The issue is more complex than racism. Some individuals find comfort in dating or, even yet, are simply more attracted to guys within their own race without aversion for other races. But what about those with more universal attractions?
InterracialGayKiss.com member Dahighest says:
"I am a single African-American homosexual male who has currently been feeling a strong attraction to guys of other races. I feel that the homosexual lifestyle is highly segregated. For example, most of my homosexual friends are all Black and the couple of times I went to the clubs, there was NO diversity. I would love to potentially date a White, Hispanic, or Asian guy but I don't know how to even start towards meeting one. I realize that as I get older, my taste is changing and I am attracted to different things than I was say, a year ago. So, for anyone out there in an interracial homosexual relationship, how did you jump it off?"
Tony replies:
"You jump it off the same was as with someone of the same race. You go up to them and say, 'Hi, What's your name?' I find race to be a non-issue. Cultural differences can be an issue, but I don't see any reason to give much consideration to race. You are either attracted to a person or you are not. They are either attracted to you or they are not. The race of either of you is irrelevant if you like each other. What are your feelings on interracial gay relationships? Are you in an interracial relationship? How do you feel when you see an African-American man holding hands with a Caucasian man or a Caucasian man with an Asian man, and so on?
Is there still a cry of exogamy 40 years later? The issue is more complex than racism. Some individuals find comfort in dating or, even yet, are simply more attracted to guys within their own race without aversion for other races. But what about those with more universal attractions?
InterracialGayKiss.com member Dahighest says:
"I am a single African-American homosexual male who has currently been feeling a strong attraction to guys of other races. I feel that the homosexual lifestyle is highly segregated. For example, most of my homosexual friends are all Black and the couple of times I went to the clubs, there was NO diversity. I would love to potentially date a White, Hispanic, or Asian guy but I don't know how to even start towards meeting one. I realize that as I get older, my taste is changing and I am attracted to different things than I was say, a year ago. So, for anyone out there in an interracial homosexual relationship, how did you jump it off?"
Tony replies:
"You jump it off the same was as with someone of the same race. You go up to them and say, 'Hi, What's your name?' I find race to be a non-issue. Cultural differences can be an issue, but I don't see any reason to give much consideration to race. You are either attracted to a person or you are not. They are either attracted to you or they are not. The race of either of you is irrelevant if you like each other. What are your feelings on interracial gay relationships? Are you in an interracial relationship? How do you feel when you see an African-American man holding hands with a Caucasian man or a Caucasian man with an Asian man, and so on?
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